its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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