She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Your cock deserves a montage
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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