just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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