omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize