So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
You took a bar mat shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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