this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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