im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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