Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
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So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I wear drunk well.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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