Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
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