We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
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On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
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I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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