The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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