We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Randomize