it wasn't lemon gatorade
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
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