your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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