and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
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She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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