Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
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