I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize