Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
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I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
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It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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