shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
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Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
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I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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