Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize