I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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