recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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