____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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