where am i from again
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize