The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize