did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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