he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
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let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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