if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I faked an abortion last night.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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