i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Oh god it's open bar.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize