so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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