I smell stomach acid.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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