i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Randomize