new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
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You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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