Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize