these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
two words: eviction party
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He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
How does one acquire holy water?
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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