nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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