Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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