I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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