You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize