Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize