I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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