I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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