Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize