I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
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