I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Randomize