I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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