i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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