I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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