I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize