after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
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